The Uncertainty of the Ocean

I was at the beach today.  It was an ocean beach at the Puget Sound.  Usually at the ocean I might put my feet in enough to walk in the sand and water and down the beach, but I never venture far into the water.  I am fearful of what may be in the ocean.  I am afraid of what could be lurking in the waters, especially and specifically because it is not clear.  There could be jellyfish or crab, sharp shells or seaweed, or maybe even a shark!  It is a complete unknown at times what could truly be beneath your feet.  And that frightens me.  Enough to keep me mostly on land.

But today, I walked into the water and kept walking.  I looked at my feet and could hardly catch a glimpse, but I kept walking.  Despite not knowing what was beneath me, I continued walking.  I decided that my desire to be in the ocean amongst the beauty, solitude, and joyfulness was greater than my fear of the unknown and uncertain.

I realized at that moment that I do not know what is in front of me now either.  My world is in a great transition and I am attempting to cope with a low point without turning to my eating disorder again.  This moment and what is before me is a huge unknown and very uncertain.  But I am going to keep walking.  The unknown/uncertain is scary and unnerving but I can face it and overcome it.  Just like the ocean, I can walk through all this scariness and be okay.  I will be okay.

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